johnsymms.com

repost

People say I don’t make Johnsymms.com posts no more.
I’m not lazy, I just don’t computer because I’m so core.

About a week ago (to give you an idea of my standard response time), YoBeat (which is, for those of you who don’t know, an online magazine that “makes fun of snowboarding,” which makes it a logical, and oh-so-meta step in the underground-to-cool-and-edgy-to-mainstream-to-self-affirmedly-lame life cycle of the sport) made fun of skiing.

What, exactly, is that thing? And what, precisely, is he planning on doing with it?

Using my blog on ESPN.com SLASH ACTION, I reacted. Click it, if want to lawl.

And then I reposted it here. You know, just to fill up some space.

win ish

you can win these. Go to ESPN Freeskiing to learn how. Or don’t. I don’t really care what you do.

there is a god

I went to a hip hop show a while ago. I enjoyed it, and now I’m hoping that that will give me some street cred. I wrote some details about it on my blog that I get paid to write.

And now below, I present some camera-phone video to prove that I was where I claim to have been at the time I claim to have been there for the purpose for which I claim to have—

Some videos:

Here is the part of the post where I direct you to U-God’s new album, thereby implying that I liked it, thereby affirming that I appreciate hip hop, thereby demonstrating that I exhibit a basic characteristic of a cool, edgy youth, which is what I am bound to aspire to be.

hip hop trading cards

Baseball. Basketball. Football. Hockey. Cricket (probably). Pokémon. Magic. And now, finally, Hip Hop trading cards.

The wait is over, assuming that phrase is generally fitting and appropriate when said in reference to, uh, hip-hopica. If so, the wait is over. Else, uh, wait no longer?

crotch rocket

Colby West has had a crotch rocket for about a year now. In less than a month, I will have had a crotch rocket for 25 years, but who’s counting? A little while ago, against my usually excellent judgment, I acted as a passenger on Colby’s street bike while I was in Boulder.

Photo courtesy of skier Digital Dave’s business associate Mike Thomas

It was pretty fun. So fun that I swear I will never ride one again. Because fun things are the devil. And fun things kill you—especially fun things that go 100 miles an hour. And I don’t ever want to die. I can’t. Because I already promised a beautiful woman that I would never die. So dying would make me a liar. And I’m not a liar.